January 25th 2022. It’s been a long time coming, but I’m finally free from one of the worst specters of my past. Cutting ties with people is painful when you genuinely want to see relations improve for the better, especially someone once considered family, but it’s just too much. I was no more capable of fixing this now than I was back when it all started. Things have only gotten worse since then, so I made one last overture, was promptly ignored, and now it’s done. I’m free of the delusion that this can be fixed, and I’m free to focus all of my hopes elsewhere. Upward and onward are the only directions left to go.

That’s not to say this is all completely behind me. I’ve had the gears shifted on me so many times that it affects all of my relationships. For two decades, I’ve been praised to high heaven and eventually slandered to the deepest hell, begged for money and favors and eventually blamed for anything and everything that’s ever gone wrong. I’ve been falsely accused of the most horrific actions possible, given disgusting ultimatums, prejudged in every disagreement and strawman’d to the point where communication was impossible. I tried to fix this. I pardoned the near unpardonable. I made countless attempts to get around the big evil strawman standing in my place over the years, but that thing was just a weapon held in reserve. There was never any way to beat it, and trying has left some serious scars. Still, the last shots have been fired, and the air is starting to clear a little bit.

I don’t have much else to add here. I’m just tired, relieved, tending my wounds, and trying to get into a more productive headspace. I think once I’ve put enough distance between myself and all of this I’ll be able to get a lot more done. It will be a while, but upward and onward I go.